Shrine
Ponderations
| Shrine Ponderations | |
 | walk outside | cold bite of the air chills | load 'er up | light it, dude | stupid wind, fucking lighter | won't stay lit | pretty hammered already | need more | oh shit, stupid van pulls up | whoops, it's 'er parents | running to the back door | she lets us in | we walk downstairs | pitch off to a friend's house | on his veranda | feel the burnish grip | of dryness, the air with it | inside your chest | hold your breath | fuck, coughed | everything's six million times funnier | and my ass vibrates | walk in the house | i'm being dreamy | can't really feel anything | the booze helps not to care | munching out on a buddy's couch | with the worst frickin' pasties in the universe, I swear | sorta float around | see buddy in the corner | forehead in the corner | what the fuck? | other guy with bloodshot eyes | ha-ha! | start falling to pieces | wake up protected | hugged warmly, strongly | onmygod, this rules |
| sounds wash through my head | simply a song I heard a moment ago | yesterday I connected. | I felt great. | he makes me feel | like I did long ago | when things were Utopia | children were mine | before plague war hit | before scribe put pen to paper | same things were | wonderful. | to sense my sensations connecting | to wrap myself in intensity | in electricity | to feel so tense, so electrified | to be so charged, body scrambling | to identify what I was feeling | sensation washed over me | like a welcome bath | like a warm rain. | to relax | and give freely | instead of being thieved from | instead of having sensation | taken, leeched | feeling my body numb itself | as if in preparation to be violated | I feel a great thrill | sensation is intensified | bolts of fireworks shoot | from wherever contact is made | the best part is | this is a story in continuation | exhilaration will cloud my rough times | for a fall the likes of which I've never seen | if I survive the landing. | I won't give up hope. | people like this *do* exist. |  |
 | I think love exists. I'm not quacking. I swore after D life wouldn't be the same. Of course, I was pretty young then. My past, what made me what I am? My beginnings as a healer? The fact that sensation pours through me as it once did before I messed things up, the fact that I managed to retain my physical intactness, yet lose sensation, seemed a price too steep. The psychological factor of any relationship comes into play. the fact tht just because I am psychologically in a good place, in a great relationship that my body responds to what it didn't respond to before, the fact that simply physically I'm responding. Perhaps breaking all the rules or maybe it's just me making lots out of nothing again. It's just comforting that we both know what we want out of the relationship and that we're not deluding ourselfves. I honestly feel that he loves me, though I have forgotten greatly what love means. All I know is that this relationship has the potential to go far, and I'm having the time of my life. Even that if this doesn't it's got potential to stay a friendship. The fact that there is a strong friendship backing this is enough said; although that could easily default itself, and rather quickly too, if we're not careful. Which, there is a good reason why I'm entertaining the thoughts that have been rolling themselves through my mind lately. -bos |
