Rain pattered
softly on Nari's face as she stood out at the bus stop, fidgeting with her key
chains. In a brief moment of insanity, she stuck her tongue out to taste the freshness
of nature itself, to somehow connect, failing as always, but in the ever-present
defeat a strong loss of bitterness had occurred. Her pretty hair matted slightly
and clinging wetly to her neck, she snuffled slightly, allowing a collecting bead
of water to drop, falling to its demise on the cold pavement below. She sighed,
wondering vaguely where she was going. Feeling empty, at a loss for words and
at a loss for destinations.
She
flashed her bus pass at the driver almost annoyedly, then proceeded to the back
of the bus. She threw her blue camo bag on the tacky orange seat, pausing briefly
to compare the contrast and obvious mismatch of tones, duly noting that with the
overkill on the orange and her bag's black trim, it resembled an overdone Halloween
party. She paused, wondering where in hell's name *that* analogy came from. 'Whatever,'
she thought. Her mind was creative, and strangely appropriate analogies seemed
to have a habit of being her bag, so to speak.
She
almost compulsively pulled her Discman out, then remembering her earlier train
of thought, she paused, mind blank.
'Screw
this,' she thought. 'I need music, before I think so much my head explodes.'
Music
harshly poured itself over her, courtesy of her headphones. It really was an interesting
sight, this young woman so untouched by much of culture, dressed in loose fitting
clothing despite her obviously thin body, towing impatiently with key chains attached
to her bag. She had pretty purplish-red hair; quite an interesting dyed color,
and hazel eyes. Almost green, streaked with brown. She was fair skinned and muscular,
her face touched gently by light pinpricks of freckles across her nose. Her nose
itself was straight and sharpish, accenting round, rosy cheeks. She had fine,
pale lips, and a dimpled smile. She was square-jawed, with an oval face. Softly
arched eyebrows and wavy hair. But the most surprising thing was that although
this was a girl of nearly 16 years old, her face was untouched by makeup. No mascara,
no lipstick, no eyeshadow or liner. And it was like this that her natural beauty
shone through. Her hair straight and down and unstyled, her little bit of nailpolish
badly chipped. She bobbed her head gently in tune to the music, sometimes mouthing
the words.
Pack
slung over her shoulder again, she walked quickly across the bus terminal, glad
for the invention of waterproof Discmans.
'Blechers,'
she thought, sitting down on another bus, her nose freezing cold. She picked a
strand of wet hair off of her forehead. 'My shirt's probably soaked.'
She
picked her dark blue hoody off her chest, then gathered the lower part of it and
wrung it out onto the floor. She patted her bag, splattering the seat with water,
then untwisted her headphone cord and wrung out the foam covers on the speakers.
She
sighed, her former train of thought resurfacing among the vibrations of the music.
The emptiness returned, almost as a hunger, a feeling of want for something she
did not have, though not for things of the material world. She sighed again, trying
to somehow clear the dusty hole in her heart by exhaling it. She resumed thinking
as before.
'Why
do I feel so empty. Well that's the million-dollar question here, ain't it.' She
closed her eyes in complete silence for a moment, then resumed thinking. 'I'm
missing something.' Somehow taking thought to form always made her feel better.
'I feel, it's not, empty,' more sighs. 'I just feel. I'm not whole. Missing pieces.'
She sighed again and hung her head.
'This
bites,' she thought. She skipped ahead a couple of tracks on her Discman, sat
back and enjoyed the ride.
The
hiss of the doors opening brought her back to life. She pulled the bell and waited
for her stop. She slung her sack over her shoulder again and trudged over to the
open door, waiting for the light to turn on so she could leave. After what seemed
like an eternity, it lit and she jumped off the bus. She snuffled, her nose suddenly
deciding it wanted to emulate the weather.
She
jingled her keys around, trying to find her house key. She sighed, this time in
exasperation. 'Fuck, it's dark,' she thought as the lock finally obeyed her key's
will. She quickly grabbed the mail and ducked inside.
Nari
checked her watch and realized that she had skipped supper, it being 10:30 and
all. "Great..." she spat. She was tired, starving, probably sick by now and nobody
to greet her when she got home. 'Being an only child sucks,' she thought bitterly.
She
stomped downstairs, her mother being off on another one of her business trips,
being the only one at homewould
turn to be an advantage.
Her
bag was tossed on the linoleum floor, her clothes draped on the hamper, herself
in the shower. She let the hot water run down her back, warming her up, washing
out her matted hair.
She
felt her stomach grumble and she yawned. So the endless debate began. 'Sleep!'
her brain commanded. 'Food!' her stomach grumbled. She patted her tummy and said,
"Patience, my pet."
Stepping
out of the shower, she finally felt warm. She wrapped her hair up in a towel,
dried off and pulled pyjamas on, then jogged upstairs to eat.
Opening
the fridge, there was very little inside, so she grabbed a bowl of cold rice and
dashed downstairs to chat with a few of her friends.
Her
computer begrudgingly started up as she noticed the lights on her cable modem
weren't lit. She jiggled the cord and gave it a good whack, smiling as the lights
lit up and flashed.
The
computer was an outlet for her creative energies, to literally become another
person, to create and assume their form was an interesting waste of time to her.
The channel she hung out in was unlike most of the other chats on the Internet,
being that she was known around the place, a regular, and there were rarely times
when people she didn't know were online. She had also met a few of them in real
life, away from the chatroom, and in them found some very good friends. Logging
on, she joined the channel and opped herself. She enjoyed being a channel operator,
the fact of the matter being that she was in the chat so often she may as well
have her share of the moderation power. A chorus of "Hey," and "Welcome back,"
made her smile, as she scanned the list for anyone she didn't know.
A
query window beeped open, one of her good friends, Jesh, was messaging her. And
he wasn't happy.
"What's
wrong?" She typed.
"Erg,
just one of those days," the response flashed.
"What
happened?"
"Nothing
in particular, just one of those days."
Things
continued in that fashion until well after eleven thirty, joking around with her
buddies in the channel and trying to help people out a bit in private message.
For a while, she forgot her hunger to be whole in the quest to help others first,
and that hole was partially filled for a time.
She
cracked and popped her knuckles, stabbing pains making their way up her arms,
through her wrists and elbows, a stinging numbing, tingling pain.
"My
CTS is acting up again, I should really start typing properly. Must go," she clicked.
The
good-byes were said, and she disconnected from the IRC server, drawing her hair
back across her skull in semi-dismay. She needed sleep. The array of things she'd
seen today was going to crack her, would she have stayed up and kept dealing with
them.
She
dressed for bed and laid in bed, jotting things down in a hardcover notebook she
had come to call her journal, pen in hand, covered by blankets.
And
as so, she fell asleep.
And
as asleep, the dreams came.
First,
as with everything, there was blackness. Then, in flashes of light, she saw life.
Or her lives, rather, flashing before her eyes.
She
saw herself in a strange city, surrounded by winged creatures. She then saw herself
as the duchess of a royal Scottish kingdom, continuing on a legacy in Europe,
then in Canada where she lived currently.
She
watched the sequences of events unfold in front of her as she stared, frozen.
Then, she dreamt she was asleep in a bed, and a beautiful lady came to visit her,
wearing wings and stroking her hair gently. Nari remembered her face from somewhere,
the images of the first lifetime. The lady stroked Nari's hair and gently touched
her face as she slept. The lady's hand rested lightly on Nari's collarbone as
she whispered in nearly inaudible tones; "You are the sun, the moons, the serene
face of our lady. Let our dreams guide you through a path of enlightenment, the
quest to make you whole again."
Nari
blinked, and the gentle face hovering above hers smiled.
She
opened her eyes, and to her semi-groggy surprise, the face was still there! It
mouthed the words, 'I love you', then faded as Nari drowsily fell into a dreamless
but confused sleep.
She
woke up drowsily to the shrill screech of her alarm. She whapped the damn thing
hard with her fist to silence its cry then flopped over. Today was Saturday. Getting
up early could go to Hell.
Nari
opened her eyes later to stare at the ceiling, noting it was eleven o'clock and
she had slept long enough. She sat up, her mind flickering back to the dream.
Her dreams were almost prophetic, an ability she had developed and used efficiently.
She enjoyed the security of being warned of upcoming changes in her life before
they were to occur. She was tempted to write this off as a run-of-the-mill dream,
but something about it irked her. Perhaps it was the fact that just that night
she had been poking into that long-silent feeling of emptiness. By God, it was
back. She sighed almost painfully, realizing that the sense of emptiness had become
much more difficult to shake.
No,
she commanded herself. On with the present train of thought. Perhaps the irk stemmed
from the illusion that the lady who had stated her wishes so plainly was still
there when she opened her eyes. Or, she continued, was it all an illusion after
all?
These
thoughts troubled her. The fact that she knew not herself so well as she thought
she did frightened her. And her weird prophetic-ish dream didn't help much either.
She got up and out of bed, and in one graceful movement she strode across the
room over to her tall dresser. She picked up a point crystal, one piece of many
occult-ish paraphernalia, which she had picked up over the course of time. She
rolled it around in her hand, thinking, focusing.
She
stood there for a while, how long she didn't know, for she didn't remember. She
stared at the crystal, wondering if perhaps it had something to do with her peculiar
loss of time. Nari shook her head. 'That's too weird,' she thought, then decided
to try an experiment. She stared hard at the crystal in her hand, not altogether
blankly, but prying at it with her eyes. She concentrated on it, somehow trying
to force energy out of her eyes or her hands or something, she thought, in what
seemed to be a half-baked idea to make the crystal somehow do something.
Her
eyebrows inadvertently knitted, her forehead wrinkled, her face tense, almost
agitated, as she stared at the little crystal in her hand. She nearly screamed
when, to her half-doubtful surprise, the crystal very suddenly grew firey-hot
and nearly burned her. In a frightened panic, she dropped it and dashed downstairs.
As she reached the bottom step, she put a hand to her breastbone, panting, while
a tiny voice in her head screamed, "Out of sight, out of mind."
"What
the hell is wrong with me?" she breathed, frightened more than she'd probably
been frighened in her life.
*
Many
hours later, after a long and toiling day, she seemed to have forgotten the things
which had scared her so that morning. Ignoring the details, she had reasoned that
she had had some weird dream-within-a-dream, and considering she had sleepwalked
before, it could explain a tad for her loss of time, and how the crystal had been
moved. She was sort of in denial about the fact that after she reached the bottom
of the stairs, she had been too frightened to sleep, and simply huddled on the
couch for about an hour, trying desperately to forget what happened.
She
sighed and sat down at her computer, patting her cable modem a friendly hello,
seing it working properly. A few of the chatters she knew greeted her as usual,
and she began her trek online. Laughing happily at a twisted joke her friends
pulled, she struck up a conversation with VVlad, a good friend of her who helped
her with spiritually deep stuff.
"Hey,"
she creatively began.
"S'up?"
"I
dunno, really," she typed. "Just feelin' weird."
"Weird
how?" he asked. He had a keen nose, even impersonally, for when things were wrong.
"I
feel empty," she stated clearly.
"Ah.
I thought so," he smiled.
She
sighed. "I feel not whole. Less and less at peace as every moment goes by."
"I
understand," he typed back.
She
sighed again.
"I
believe..." he began, "that the time has come for you to figure out who you are."
"What
is that supposed to do to help me!?" she almost yelled back.
"You
must learn," he replied just before disconnecting.
"Great!"
she spoke, thudding her mouse on the desk. "Great! Awesome! That helps me *immensely*!"
She
shook off the sarcasm and jumped headfirst into a conversation in the channel.
Later
and later, after scores of music downloads and little chats with different people,
her eyelids drooped and she
nearly fell asleep on her keyboard. "I think it's time for bed," she typed before
disconnecting.
She
stumbled into bed, falling asleep nearly the second her head hit the pillows.
Sunday
morning slapped her awake with the screech of her alarm clock. "Shit," she rapsed,
having fortotten to shut the annoying little box up. She whapped it hard with
her fist, complaining to herself. Nevermind shutting it off during the weekend,
but she'd bitch about having to shut it off in the morning.
Feeling
an odd push to meditate, she reached for her lighter. It took a couple of tries
to light it, but once it lit the candle the lavendar smell refreshed her. She
smiled happily and breathed in the color and warmth. She felt a surge of warm
sensation inside her and tried to channel the energy outwards, to other parts
of her body. How extra energy aided one to relax was beyond her, but she always
finished meditating feeling refreshed and energized, het just that; relaxed. She
finished the meditation differently this time, moving excess energy to her hands
instead of exhaling it, which appeared to be a waste of energy. The superlative
energy-high left her, and no longer feeling wired she stretched.
Brushing
her hair out of her eyes with one hand, she stopped short in surprise. Her hands
were blistering hot.
Bringing her hands to her face for a closer look,
she realized that not only were they flaming hot, they had red marks on them like
she had been rubbing them against something vigorously. Nari shook her head in
near-disbelief. But there it was, plain in front of her. The tips of her fingers,
as well as the pams and heels of her hands to all were a bright magenta red. She
narrowed her eyes.
A
flash of white light blinded her as she was surrounded by a thick white fog. It
seemed to swirl around her, like a long curtain, until suddenly it parted and
she saw herself in flowing white robes, a violent grimace of rage and passion
pasted on her face. The vision raised her arms, and stepped back, one arm quickly
snapping outwards, fingers fanning, in almost a flicking motion. To Nari's surprise,
a fireball formed speedily at the vision's fingertips, launching itself intoo
oblivion. Then, another blinding flash and she found herself laying on her back
on her bedroom floor.
Frighened,
Nari blinked a few times before the vision cleared totally from her line of sight.
She
sat up, half-expecting another weird vision of such a type to assault her.
Once
satisfied that such a thing wouldn't happen any time soon, she groped for the
phone. "I really need to get out today.."
She
dialed Sarah-Lainn's number, hoping to catch her at home.
"Hullo?"
"Um,
hi, is Sarah-Lainn there?" she stammered.
"This
is. What's up?"
Nari
sighed. "You have to come over."
"You're
bored, hey? I told you! 'No mom, I'll be okay while you go to Mexico for three
days!' You swore! HAH! I never thought I'd see you *lonely*! I--"
"Sarah,
shut up."
"I
told you!"
Ignoring
the interruption, Nari continued. "Grab the car and grab your pendulum. I need
some questions answered. And a dream interpreted."
"I
charge $3.99 a minute," Sarah joked. When Nari didn't laugh, Sarah became worried.
"What's wrong, hun?"
"You'll
find out when you get here. Just bring your pendulum and your thinking cap."
"Nari,
is something wrong? I get the feeling you're scared, and you don't scare easily."
"Sarah,
just move it. This isn't something I'd like to say on the phone."
Within
an hour, she was over at Nari's house, and acting pensive. "What's up? What was
so urgent and secretive
that you had to get me over here now but couldn't say on the phone?"
"Sarah-Lainn,
you're my most weird friend."
"I'm
flattered."
"No,
seriously. That's why I think I can trust you on this. Some weird shit has been
going on lately. It all started with this dream..."
*
Sarah-Lainn
sat after Nari's hour-long explanation looking slightly awestruck. Or maybe dumbstruck.
"You
mean to tell me.. that.. you think you're developing parakinetic abilities? Esper
even?"
"Yup."
"Is
this your idea of a cruel joke?"
"What?!"
Nari was insulted.
"No,
you were always the one who only half-listened to me, saying offhandedly that
'this crap is bull'? How *gullible* do you think I am?"
"Sarah-Lainn
Collins!"
"Knock
it off, Nari, I'm not going to sit here and listen to you mock me." She reached
out to grab her pendulum that was sitting on the coffee table but Nari grabbed
her by the wrist. "N.. Na.. Nari! Your hand!:
Nari's
hands, fingertips esepcially, were glowing hot. She had pent up a good chunk of
anger, enough to the point where she had inadvertently welled it up in her hands.
Nari
let go abruptly, nearly scared herself. Sarah-Lainn, however, was doubtful.
"How
the hell did you do that? You're really pushing my line of tolerance here."
"I
don't know!" Nari yelped, frustrated and frightened.
"You
want me to interpret your dream? I'll interpret your dream!" Sarah yelled with
rising tones. Nari paced to the other end of the room, breaking odwn. "I think
you're an egotistical--"
"Stopit!"
"Self-centered--"
"I
said stop!"
"Closed-minded--"
"Sarah,
please!" Nari was on the verge of angry tears now, her face and nose red.
"Sonofa--"
"Shut
UP!" Nari screamed from across the living room, flicking her arm out in front
of her, palm down, fingers extended and together. To both girls' surprise, a bal
of fire formed instantly at Nari's fingertips and her arm's motion flung it towards
her friend, who couldn't move, frozen in fear. As quickly as it happened, Nari
yelped in surprise. "NO!" and immediately the fireball vanished.
Sarah-Lainn
shivered.
Nari
backed up slowly, and ran into the kitchen to answer the ringing phone. It was
her mother.
"Hallo
dumpling!"
"Hi
mom."
"Listen
sugar knees, the business trip's
taking logner than expected. Miguel's having me draw up more blueprints, I'll
need at least another week."
"But
mom--"
"No
buts, dumpling. You know the drill. Lily will drop off the groceries on Wednesday,
try and keep the house clean until Anna gets here on Friday to clean up, don't
make the job *too* bad for her--"
"But
mom!--"
"I
said no buts, dumpling. Now behave, and It'll be home by next Monday. I send my
loves."
"Mom,
I--"
"Good
bye, hon!"
"Bye
mom--"
*click*
This
wasn't the first time her mother had avoided coming home when expected. But she
was loving, and her job supported the both of them, there weren't many jobs out
on the market that would. She was an architect, and occasionally her business
trips would taket hem on spur-of-the-moment family vacations. But with Nari's
second semester midterms coming up, she couldn't afford to leave. She fumed silently
for a little while, then returned to the living room. Sarah-Lainn was still completely
dumbstruck.
Nari's
voice was a near-whisper. "Now do you believe me?"
"I--...
I mean, .. you *read* about those things. I never thought I'd see it. Hell, I
doubted they even *existed*."
"Sarah,
will you help me?" Nari's eyes were pleading.
She
simply rambled on. "I mean, Nari, like.. what's happening to you? You're scared,
I can feel it. You carry agitation about with you. Enough to make me blow up.
I mean, *I* blew up at *you*! This is *amazing*!"
"Please.."
Nari whimpered.
Sarah-Lainn
looked into Nari's lowered eyes for a moment. She watched Nari's eyes slowly rise
to meet her own, and felt her stomach twist.
Fear.
Pure, raw, angry, frustrated fear. Being the 'weirdo' among their friends Sarah-Lainn
had become somehow semi-detached, not totally feeling anything anymore. But when
she looked into Nari's eyes, Sarah-Lainn felt real fear.
She
closed her eyes reluctantly and stuck out her hand. Nari grabbed it firmly, squeezing
a tiny reassurance. Sarah-Lainn closed her eyes, as did Nari. The former being
the one doing all the work, she gently prodded at Nari's mind until the visions
came.
She
herself had developped abilities like that long ago. Wherever she went and whatever
she touched was left with almost a residue of calm serenity, and reassurance.
She could, simply by touching someone's hand, share your emotions and share a
small part of the events in which you played, in the form of sometimes fearful
visions.
She
shuddered hard, shaking her head and hands, trying to shake off the aura of the
dreams. Head in hand, Sarah-Lainn sat and thought for awhile.
"Nari..."
"Sarah..."
Nari's voice cracked in fear and pain.
"I
don't konw what to say."
"Say
*something*!"
"Your
first dream.. was unlike anything I've ever seen before. Come to think of it,
so was your vision."
"Oh,
Sarah-Lainn.."
"Nari,
what's wrong?"
"Sarah,
my mother's gone another week. Please ... just .. stay..."
"I
had a feeling you might say that. I packed myself a bag." Sarah winked knowingly.
Nari
just sighed.
"Look,"
Sarah rested her hand on Nari's shoulder. "We'll figure this out. I promise."
"Okay."
"Can
... can I test a theory?"
"What
theory?"
"Just
a theory I'd like to test on you."
"Eh..
sure."
With
that, Sarah-Lainn pulled a dark purple candle out of her bag and set it on the
coffee table. It was very wide, but short, one of the very long burning type of
candles.
"Light
it," Sarah commanded.
Nari
reached for her lighter in her pants pocket, but was stopped. "Hey, if you just
about lit your couch on fire, you can light that candle."
"But--"
"No
buts, Nari, you snooze, you lose!"
"Sarah--"
"What?"
"Sarah,
how the hell am I supposed to *aim*?"
Sarah-Lainn
just shrugged.
Nari
made a frustrated noise.
"Just
chill, sister! Focus. Stare at it. Whatever you did in the first place, just..
erm.. *smaller*."
"*Smaller*!?"
Nari just shook her head. Sarah-Lainn nodded vigorously.
"Yes!
Just.. um.. Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about."
"No
shit, Sarah." The sarcasm that oozed from Nari's words nearly threatened to stain
the carpet.
Nari
whapped her palm on the coffee table, making the candle jump. "Fine then! I'll
be all cool and hardcore like those people on TV!" More sarcasm.
"Geez,
Na-RI!" Sarah whined.
"Okay.
Okay! Fine! I'll pull your little barroom stunt. Just so long as I get free drinks
later or something."
Sarah
hung her head in distaste.
Nari,
obedient albeit smartassed, focused her eyes on the wick of the candle. She tried
somehow to pull the energy she felt circulating elsewhere in her body and to somehow
focus it at the candle in such a way that it would possibly ignite or something.
Nothing
happened.
In
a fit of frustration, she flicked the wick with her pointer finger. To her shock
and surprise, the wick lit as if she had taken a lighter to it.
"Geh..
g... d.. did.. did--..you.." Nari stammered.
Sarah-Lainn
clapped her hands in delight. "Oh this is going to be so *FUN*!" she squealed.
"Oh,
Sarah, you're going to be *SUCH* A pain in the ass..." Nari muttered, staring
bitterly at the flame.
***
Thanks
for reading this far everyone. Comments and suggestions, snag me on ICQ, or IRC,
or e-mail at [email protected]. This is subject
to that wholey'know rewriting thing so don't get jealous.
Wriness
http://sailorsaturn.com/wrin