Wrin: Oh D^Knight, my dear little D^Knight. I read your post. I really did. I thought it was so touching, I decided to pull out a beating stick and riff the tar out of a fic. It's quite hard to riff funnyfics. Which is why I have more than one MiSTing in store for you, my friend. Oh yes. Jealous you will no longer be. For those of you who have no idea what was going on, oh Goddess save us all, I've been converted. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've been corrupted. And not by you. So, yeah. We'll see what we can do with Knight darling, here. It's supposed to be a funnyfic, and luckily for me, it's a short. I know, I changed the colors. I know, I changed the font. Whatever.

It was a total mystery.

Wrin: Where *did* Bob hide the chee-tos?

Whenever there was a problem to be solved...

Wrin: It usually was left unfinished.

Whenever there was a question to be answered...

Wrin: The question was dodged.

Whenever there was a mystery to be explained...

Wrin: People's shoulders got worn out from shrugging.

Everyone knew who they could go to.

Wrin: Al.
Wrin: <Al> WHAT?!?

The former Command.Com of Mainframe was currently nursing

Wrin: A null he had found in his lint-trap and come to call his own.

a cup of cocoa.

"Well, Phong?" Bob asked, standing

Wrin: Warily in front of Phong's dart board.
Wrin: <Phong> Hold veeery still, my child.
Wrin: <Bob> Uh.. Are you sure this is a good idea?

beside the old sprite.

Phong peered at the

Wrin: Porno mags hid under his desk.
Wrin: <Phong> Miss 33rd cycle. Mmm...

Guardian through his half-moon glasses. "Well what?"

Wrin: <Phong> Has my new copy of "Living healthy as a senior sprite" come yet?!

Bob sighed. "You know what I mean, Phong.

Wrin: <Bob> Can't I get more blunt than 'Coming Out Of The Closet'?

The reason why you're now wearing a

Wrin: <Bob> Red lace teddy.

bandage around your head. The reason why you got hit by a

Wrin: <Bob> Wiffle bat in the first place.
Wrin: <Little Enzo> Hi Phong! Wanna play? *Whap!* Phong? Phong?!

Pong disc. The reason why I had to

Wrin: <Bob> Resuscitate you with CPR.
Wrin: <Phong> Thank you, my child.
Wrin: <Bob> No problem, I rather enjoyed it.

challenge you to a game of Pong in the first place."

Phong looked calmly at him. "And that would be?"

Wrin: <Bob> Well.. You know... You know Dot really well.. and .. like... I'm too much of a pussy to ask her to marry me myself and you're her good friend and *rambleramble*

"Why you're so wise!"

Wrin: <Phong> Why, thank you, child.

Phong gave a mysterious smile. "Ah, but the answer should be obvious."

Wrin: <Phong> It is my lucky undershorts. Wanna see?

"And what is the answer?"

Wrin: <Phong> Answer to what?
Wrin: <Bob> *groans*

"Guess."

Wrin: <Bob> Playing Pong made you lose enough that you broke enough pieces to have to sit in the read-only room improving your knowledge?

"Er... you've collected a massive amount of

Wrin: <Bob> Star wars memorabilia?

experience through the cycles?"

"No."

Bob was nonplussed. "You're sure?"

Wrin: <Phong> Well, I am certifiably senile in this fic. And I believe there is a shoelace tied around my finger. But for the life of me I can't find it. But yes. I'm completely sure that I did not .... did not... *thinks* .. What was the question?

"I'm sure. The answer is

Wrin: <Phong> Solitaire. Play it all the time. It degrades the brain. Begins to think for itself so you survive. FreeCell is an excellent substitute.

something much simpler."

"You're actually

Wrin: <Bob> A user?

from a system with a

Wrin: <Bob> Nicer graphics rendering engine?
Wrin: <Phong> Flattery will get you everywhere.

higher clockspeed?"

"No."

"You have achieved true inner peace,

Wrin: Nirvana, to them senile ol' Zen masters...

and will soon leave Mainframe to start a religion that

Wrin: <Bob> Teaches the proper way to chant satanic curses?

preaches goodwill to all sprites?"

"No."

Wrin: <Phong> What, do I look like Santa Claus?

"You read something from the Readme Room which

Wrin: The entire public has access to?

gave you the secret to the Net?"

"No."

Bob was casting out

Wrin: All his line. The stupid fish still wouldn't bite the g'damn hook.
Wrin: <Bob> (muttering) ... c'mon, AndrAIa.. where are you AndrAIa..

wildly now. "You're actually a User?"

Wrin: ... Didn't I say that?

"No."

"You can read minds?"

Wrin: *snorts* lotta good that'd do him. What do binomes think about?
Wrin: <Binome> Eat. Sleep. Eat. Sleep. ACK! GAME! BAD! Eat. Sleep.

"No."

"You're a Minbari? Or Ta'averen?"

Wrin: A whattennowen?

Phong blinked. "What?"

"Some things I picked up

Wrin: While reading weird anime fics?

in the Readme Room. The User

Wrin: <Bob> Appears to like the genre entitled.. 'hentai'.

downloaded them."

"Oh. And no."

Bob gave up. "Okay, so why are you so wise?"

Wrin: <Bob> And how *do* you make that incredible tuna casserole? .. Because Dot wants to know. Yeah. Dot. Not me. Dot. All dot.

"It's because my great great grandmother was a

Wrin: *chanting* user.. user.. user..

self-insertion character,

Wrin: Damnit. Damnit squared.

who actually came to

Wrin: <Bob> The Supermarket some-
Wrin: <Bob> Super*computer*, Phong.
Wrin: <Phong> (dismissively) Whatever, my child.

Mainframe sometime in the future but got sent back in time," Phong said simply.

Wrin: *facepalm*

There was silence.

Wrin: All except for the puking in the back by the ficcer who's allergic to Self-Insertion.

There was more silence.

Wrin: *hacking noises heard from the back of the theater*

"Who's side of the family?" Bob finally asked.

Wrin: <Bob> And am I, in any horribly twisted fic-type way related to him?

"My father's."

"Figures."

Wrin: D^ honey, do you want to explain this to me?

Yeah, it was a short. Not-So-Crummy, on the scale of one to one, I'd give it about a one. Well, here you go D^ dahling. The MiSTing you were asking for. *Fwoink*! Ask, and ye shall recieve!

This link provided by the "I'm too lazy to hit my back button" foundation