Oh, and as for the quality of the fic? I believe this comment covers it all:
[19:41] * Kalifla laughs scornfully at the fic "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

**
Wrin: Look! Margin space! *frolicfrolicfrolic!*

Back on the

Wrin: Crack.

Beat

Wrin: .. Matrix is a cop?

Written by Meghan
Revised by Gizelle

Wrin: And me.

Matrix shuffled into the diner, plopped

Wrin: Little unsanitary, but okay.

into the first available booth, and immediately dropped his head on the table. Naturally,

Wrin: The cartilage and spinal column made this a difficult task, but armed with sharp objects, he did it well.

this attracted Dot’s attention.

Wrin: Cos owning most of Mainframe would automatically mean she has nothng better to do than pay attention to her brother at a table in her diner.

She walked over to the booth and stood next to him. “Are you all right?”

Wrin: <Matrix> Yeah, really. I mean, the blood usually spurts like this.

Her brother answered by means of a loud, pitiful-sounding groan.

Wrin: <Dot> Just *where* *is* *your* *other* *hand*?!

Just then AndrAIa entered the diner, took one look at Matrix’s motionless form,

Wrin: Severing one's head tends to do that.

and began to laugh. “I told you,” she said, sliding into

Wrin: A pool of puke on the diner floor.
Wrin: <Matrix> Serves you right. D'uh.. laughing at me.

the seat across from him.
“What happened to him?” Dot asked.
“Let me put it this way: there’s a reason why

Wrin: (Yelling) There's a semicolon in the English language!!

milk cartons have expiration dates.”

Wrin: Ohhh who *hasn't* fallen for that trick at April Fool's.

“Enzo!” Dot shot an accusing look at her brother.

Wrin: <Dot> So *that's* what happened to my clean floor!

“I thought it would be okay. It wasn’t that old,” he whined, without lifting his head.

Wrin: Because lack of a brain-stem connection makes that a little hard.

“Honey, it was starting to smell.

Wrin: Woi. Milk with noses. No wonder it got Matrix sick.

So anyway,” said AndrAIa, turning back to Dot, “the mighty Matrix here was up all night with a tummyache.”

Wrin: (Unimpressed) I made fun of AndrAIa for being butch! Since when would she say "Tummyache"?!

“Would a little sympathy be so much to ask?” said Matrix, still not lifting his head.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Ohhhhhh snuggliewugglie got sicky-wicky from the big bad chunkywunkymilkymilk!
Wrin: Ick.

“Hey, I told you not to drink it. Besides, you’ll live.”

Wrin: Famous last words.

All of a sudden the room went dark;

Wrin: <Matrix> Hallowe'en already?

the sky had turned from its typical blue to an ominous purple,

Wrin: <Matrix> D'uh.. Purty.

and they heard an all-too-familiar sound: “Warning; incoming game”. Matrix, with his usual lightning-quick reflexes,

Wrin: And snail like intellect,

responded by letting out another loud groan.

Wrin: <Dot> Little brother, I said WASH THAT HAND!

AndrAIa giggled. “Relax, Sparky. I’ll get this one,” she said.

Wrin: ... Sparky? *turns to Matrix* So what exactly *does* she do with those spikes?

“Be careful,” called Dot as the younger woman headed for the door.

Wrin: <Matrix> *makes yapping motions with his hand*

“I will,” she yelled back. Then she hopped on her zipboard and sped off.
Matrix still hadn’t lifted his head.

Wrin: Partially because he was still kinda soft.

*********

Wrin: Ooh! Happy asterixes! Multiply, my darlings!

Bob headed for the game cube with an almost youthful sense of excitement.

Wrin: <Bob> Oh boy! I get to be in peril! *SUCH* Fun!

This was the first one

Wrin: What, no zeros?

that had dropped since Mainframe had restarted.

Wrin: Because on old systems, defragging your hard drive takes *that* *f*cking* *long*.

It had been a long time since he had been in a game, and, truth be told, he missed it.

Wrin: <Bob> *runs into game cube*.. (dazed) I knew I shouln'a taken that left turn at Alberquerque..

It would be a welcome thrill to show the User he still knew what he was doing.

Wrin: Or to run for his life, whichever came first.

“Bob! Wait up!"
Bob turned his head in time to see AndrAIa coming up behind him.

Wrin: (head in hands) too.. many.. dirty... comments.. can't.. choose..

“Hey! Fancy meeting you here,” she said with a smile.

Wrin: <Bob> Fancy my ass. You want me. You know it.

“Come to give me a hand?”
“Yup.”

Wrin: ... Maybe I shouldn't be commenting on how much *Matrix* gets some from his ol' rightie.. then again this isn't necessarily *Bob's* rightie.

“Where’s Matrix? Doesn’t he want in on this?”
“He’s sleeping it off,” she answered with a smirk.

Wrin: O.O... MEGHAN!? DID YOU WARN ME THIS WAS HENTAI!?

“Huh?”
“I’ll explain later.”
Bob studied her for a moment. “I’ve never been in a game with you, have I?”

Wrin: <Bob> All that fantasizing about Dot's uniboob seems to have pulled all the blood away from my thinker.

AndrAIa thought for a nanosecond: “No. Not since you three were in my game.”
“Are you any good?” Bob asked teasingly.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Why don't you come back to my place, and find out?

AndrAIa smiled. “I’ve had a lot of practice,” she replied,

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Matrix comes in handy...

as the game cube dropped on the two of them.
*********
Wrin: Yay! More asterixes!

The pair found themselves standing on a hill,

Wrin: <Bob> Oh! Lookit that view! Whoops, was that your ass?

looking down on a land of huge lakes, small rounded trees,

Wrin: Because trees aren't typically round..?

and more hills. The whole landscape had strange bluish-green tint to it, and there didn’t seem to be any other signs of life.

Wrin: Because the trees themselves looked pretty dead.

“This looks quiet enough,” said AndrAIa.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> So. You ... brought a blanket, right?

“We’ll fix that,” said Bob with a mischievous smile. “Let’s get to it. Reboot!”
AndrAIa followed suit,

Wrin: Always remember to properly introduce your characters. Suit, meet AndrAIa. AndrAIa, meet suit. AndrAIa, follow suit. Good game sprite.

and the two ended up dressed in similar, slightly baggy jumpsuits.

Wrin: Clingy in just the right places.

AndrAIa’s was purple with a red belt, and Bob’s was orange.

Wrin: Mmmmmconstruction workers.

AndrAIa was holding a round object resembling a large pocket watch, with a grid display on it.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> .. So what the heck is this thing? *presses a button* *FOOM*! Oh. I'm guessing that was bad. Bob? Bob...?

“Well?” AndrAIa asked.
Bob closed his eyes. Since downloading Glitch, his key tool, he was able to

Wrin: Leap tall buildings in a single bound.

come up with game stats simply by

Wrin: Licking the jungle carpet.

taking in the surroundings. Soon he had

Wrin: Sudden realization as to the typicality of this particular part in this particular fic.

an answer.

Wrin: <Bob> ... I have no idea where the heck we are.

“We’re in a game called Dragonball Z.

Wrin: Oye vay.. my opinion on fanfiction isn't that high. But crossovers?

Its setting is the planet Namek.

Wrin: <Bob> Because they couldn't come up with a better name.

Our job is to find the seven dragonballs

Wrin: <Bob> Save the world, go home for supper. Y'up for it?

using the dragon radar - that thing,” he said, pointing to

Wrin: His pants.

the watch-like object, “and use them to summon the Great Dragon before the User does.”
AndrAIa was silent - but not for long. “What?!”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> I do a great Al imitation, no?

Bob just shrugged.
“Are you sure about that?”

Wrin: <Bob> I'm always sure when I shrug.

“Positive.”
“Oooh-kayy.”

Wrin: Something tells me AndrAIa isn't totally getting it here. (Speaking slowly, using small words).. Dragon.. Balls.. Great.. User. Get it?

“Hey, they say the User inputs games for pleasure. They don’t say anything about them making sense.”

Wrin: <User> I'm a totally omnipotent being! This means I get to wreak havoc and make absolutely no sense, am I right?
Wrin: <God> That's right.

“I can see that. What’s a dragonball, anyway?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Are they in any way related to prairie oysters?

“I hope it’s not what it sounds like.”

Wrin: <Bob> Because things that are bigger than me are bad.

*********
“We’ve been walking around out here for milliseconds! Where are those stupid things?”

Wrin: <Bob> Hang on. I'll consult Glitch. *whirring noise in Bob's head*.. Sorry. Still not enough blood supply to power my top brain.

“Oh, lighten up.

Wrin: <Bob> Your contrast is off.

It hasn’t been that long.

Wrin: <Bob> Since your last piece.

Doesn’t the dragon radar tell you anything?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> 'Course it doesn't tell me anything! I have to read th'damn thing!

“Maybe if I could understand it.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Simple problem-solving always went over my head. Is Matrix hungry? Is Matrix horny? Is Matrix sleepy? I can never tell.

Look at this - just a green grid that

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Talks to me in perfect english. I can't understand this!

blinks a triangle with a number in it every

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Time I look at it!

once in a while. How am I supposed to find anything based on that?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> I mean, numbers mean nothing, right?

“Well, at least we have these two.

Wrin: They haven't found any, but they own two. Continuity at its finest.

That way the User can’t get all of

Wrin: <Bob> My Luke Perry Collectibles.

them.”
“That’s true.” AndrAIa sat down on a nearby rock.

Wrin: Immediately slipping off and falling into a stream.

“But we found those two by accident.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> I mean, accidents don't count, right?

We can’t count on the same kind of luck for the other five.

Wrin: Sure you can AndrAIa, it's called "Winging It".

Bob?” Her companion had walked to the crest of a nearby hill and was staring intently down

Wrin: AndrAIa's shirt.

the other side. “Bob? What did you find?”

Wrin: <Bob> I don't know. It's round, it's shiny, it's glowing. So anyway, where *Are* those dragon balls?

“Come here.” She joined him at the summit

Wrin: Because she was too nice to pass him without signaling.

and looked into the valley below. “A village.”

Wrin: Master of the obvious strikes again.

“Think it’s inhabited?” AndrAIa sounded uncharacteristically apprehensive.

Wrin: AndrAIa uses big words? So living with Matrix *hasn't* dumbed down her intellect! <AndrAIa> Matrix wanna some nookie-noo?

“Only one way to find out.” And with that, the Guardian started

Wrin: To yell curses at the top of his lungs to wait for irate villages to kick his ass.

down the hill.
*********
Their descent did not go unnoticed.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Damn! I thought we were invisible!
Wrin: <Bob> No, only my invisible friend is invisible. Right Li'l Bobby?

When they reached the bottom,

Wrin: They realized that the village was on the *other* side of the hill, they were just reading the map wrong.

Bob and AndrAIa found

Wrin: Half a baggie of crack.
Wrin: <Bob> Screw the User! This stuff's expensive!

three Game Sprites waiting for them: tall, green men with no hair, pointed ears, and white belted robes that skimmed the ground.

Wrin: <Bob> Greetins Martians, we come in pieces. I mean, peace. We'll be *leaving* in pieces.

The two Sprites stopped and eyed them warily.

Wrin: <Game Sprite 1:> Do you think she's got spikes anywhere else?
Wrin: <Game Sprite 2:> Probably! And *grrowr* do I wanna find out!

“Well, go on.” Bob gestured toward the Game Sprites.

Wrin: <Bob> You haven't started speaking yet, so keep staring at us. It turns me on.

AndrAIa looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean, go on?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> They're standing! I only do it laying down!

“Ask them where the rest of

Wrin: <Bob> my star trek action figures are.

the dragonballs are.”
“Why do I have to do it?

Wrin: <Bob> Because I"m better looking.

You ask them.”
“You’re the Game Sprite.

Wrin: <Bob> Besides, they find me attractive. I'm not going to make them think I'm only after one thing! Well.. two..

You ask.”
“No! You’re the Guardian, you ask them.”
“Exactly! I’m the Guardian. I have authority. Now go ask them.”

Wrin: Yeah. Cos Bob was always that petty and mothertarian.

“Like hell you do! Since when do you order me around?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> That's Matrix's job!

“Since now. Now get over there.” He started to shove AndrAIa toward the Game Sprites.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Hey, hey hey! Hands off the merchandise!

“Stop that! Look, let’s be mature about this. Somebody has to ask them, and it’s not going to be me.”

Wrin: Real mature, AndrAIa.

“Well, it’s not going to be me, either.”

Wrin: Real mature, Bob.

“Oh, yes it is!”
“Is not!”
“IS TOO!”

Wrin: OH GIVE THE POOR READER A BREAK! *slaps them both*

Bob held up his fist.

Wrin: <Bob> See this fist? It says you go first.

AndrAIa held up hers too.

<AndrAIa> See these nails? They say I win.

They shook them three times simultaneously.

Wrin: The Ginyu Force is stupid.

“Paper.”
“Scissors.”

Wrin: <Bob> Shit! We need a stapler to make paper chains!

AndrAIa glared at the Guardian, who smirked back at her.

Wrin: <Bob> Nyah nyah. Who's the big malevolent one no--*POW!*

“You better get over there, don’t you think?”

Wrin: Kay. I'd like to point out that Bob was *never* that much of a smirky asshole. Who is this, Megabyte during his rebellious teen years?

The girl shook her head.

Wrin: It made her brain kind of bounce around, but she liked it anyway.

“Crash it all to - I’m going to get you for this.”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> I know where Dot hides the energy shake mix!

She looked in the direction of the Game Sprites, took a deep breath, and

Wrin: Waved menacingly and enthusaistically.

very slowly walked toward them. She waited until

Wrin: Their fists were within six inches of her face.

she was face to face with the eldest of the three,

Wrin: as indicated by their handy tour-guide introduction name-tags.

then cleared her throat.

Wrin: Cos it was kinda hard to talk with Bob's tongue in it.

“ We were wondering if you could help us. My -ahem-

Wrin: <Bob> What? I'm completely unobservant and badly cast in this fic! I'm not doing anything wrong!

friend and I are looking for the dragonballs. Do you by any chance know where we can find the other five?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> and drastically and relievedly shorten the plot of this fanfic, thereby rendering it completely pointless?

The old Game Sprite regarded her silently for a moment, than spoke. “Of course, my child.

Wrin: ... lemmeguess.. Phong's evil twin?

We will give you the information you require. But tell me - why does your friend not come to speak to us with you?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> He has bowel retention problems when he's trying to talk to new people.
Wrin: <Bob> HEY!

AndrAIa looked back at Bob, who was trying to listen to the conversation without being obvious

Wrin: <Bob> Ooh. Pretty ... grass.

(and doing a very poor job of it). She turned back to the old Sprite,

Wrin: cos it deserved a capital letter.

lowered her voice,

Wrin: The butter knife in her pocket came in handy for that.

and said, “You’ll have to excuse him. You see, he got trapped in the games as a little Sprite.

Wrin: Ooh! Cue "traumatic childhood" flashback!

He should really only be 1.1, but since game time runs faster, he compiled up before his time.

Wrin: We're still talking about Bob, right? Why does this make me think AndrAIa's just a *little* too attached to Matrix?

So you’ll have to forgive him if he behaves a little immaturely.”

Wrin: AndrAIa said, repeating herself for maximum emphasis.

The Game Sprite looked at Bob sympathetically and shook his head.

Wrin: <Bob> Let go of my head.

“Poor little fellow. Yes, the dragonballs are

Wrin: <Old guy> Nowhere near here.

not far from here. In fact, I sense that the remaining five are all in

Wrin: <Old guy> My pocket.

the same place. Simply head in that direction until the dragon radar locks

Wrin: you in our dungeon.

on to them. It will beep louder the closer you get to them.”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> This dragon radar thing.. that's my magic hockey puck, right?

AndrAIa bowed to the old Sprite.

Wrin: Cos she was too butch to curtsey.

“Thank you, sir.” Under her breath, she muttered,

Wrin: Now now, Andy, that's not velly polite to the old guy.

“So that’s how you work this crashing thing.”

Wrin: So she's too butch to curtsey, and not butch enough to swear. ... gah.

Bob was waiting for her at the foot of the hill.

Wrin: Even though hills don't have feet, and he was just inspecting the really quiet game sprite's toenails.

“Why was he looking at me like that? What did you say to him?”

Wrin: <Bob> Did he say he liked me back?

“Oh, nothing.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> I mean, he just instinctively knew to respond.

He said all five dragonballs are this way.”

Wrin: She said, gesturing in the direction of the padded rooms the old man pointed out.

“Well, what are we waiting for?

Wrin: <Bob> Cos I mean, I'm not very observant.

Let’s go!” Bob took off in the direction she had pointed.

Wrin: ... Took off what, we're not asking.

Suddenly he heard AndrAIa say his name - actually, yell his name was more like it.

Wrin: ... too easy.

But that didn’t make sense. Why did she sound so far away? Wasn’t she right behind...

Wrin: <Bob> AndrAIa? AndrAIa? *smush* AndrAIaaa.. Oops.

“WHOA!” Bob stopped short

Wrin: Cos he's not very good at the long jump.

and let out a startled yelp as he found himself some distance above the ground.

Wrin: Not lots, but some.

AndrAIa was staring up

Wrin: His skirt

at him in amazement.
“How’d you do that?”
“I don’t know. I just -

Wrin: <Bob> Pushed the little 'fly' button on my jetpack.

did it.”
“Can I do that?”

Wrin: <Bob> Not like you have any brain cells to lose if you fail!

Bob shrugged. “Try it.”

Wrin: Course AndrAIa always listens to what Bob says. Cos Matrix bosses 'er around allatime. Or mebbe Bob just thinks she's his bitch.

Within nanoseconds, AndrAIa was hovering in

Wrin: A helicopter provided by the game.

the air next to him. She looked absolutely

Wrin: Butch.

enthralled with this newfound ability. “In all the games I’ve played, all the characters I’ve been...

Wrin: *rolls eyes* Cue drama sequence.

not once have I been able to fly.” The young woman was

Wrin: Boring the heck out of the fic's audience.

breathless with excitement.
Bob smiled at her. “Race you to the dragonballs!”
*********

Wrin: Oof. Good. More chapter over. This fic drags! <Rant> Is it just me, or is Bob treating AndrAIa like some two-dollar whore? Bob *never* bosses people around that much! Pettiness! Pettiness! Y'think that hanging out in the web with people who could easily kick his silver ass around his pointy little shoulders would have taught him some manners or something!

The dragon radar was beeping incessantly.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> D'ye think that means something? I still can't read it.

AndrAIa scanned

Wrin: Pictures of Dot naked to auction off as blackmail on eBay.

the ground carefully for anything resembling

Wrin: Bob's contact lens.

the dragonballs. Then she heard Bob’s voice

Wrin: from behind her head, the drunken haze clearing, she remembered it all so well.

ahead of her: “AndrAIa! Over here! I found them!”

Wrin: *rolls eyes* I mean, they'd all be in the same place and everything! Cuz that'd shorten the fic and make writing easier on the author.

AndrAIa headed for the ground

Wrin: Suitably unindicative of the fact she may or may not be flying.

- with considerable reluctance. She hoped she would get more opportunities to fly

Wrin: Oh Give Me A Break. Sobsobsobsobsob. AndrAIa can't fly in games! A-wah! A-wah!

in future games - lots more. She found Bob standing triumphantly

Wrin: I don't think I've ever seen Bob stand triumphantly. Well, no, I lied. A few times. Just before Megabyte grabbed him around the neck and lifted him off the ground.

a short distance from a cave in the side of a hill. Just inside the cave were the remaining five dragonballs.

Wrin: (Yelling) That's TOO EASY! Too easy! Give me some rising action! ... Hold the action, I haven't even seen the conflict totally yet. That wasn't an obstacle. That was an inconvenience.

“I win,” said Bob.
AndrAIa playfully slapped his arm.

Wrin: *gawks in disbelief* That was too easy. Cheesycheesycheesy.

“Speaking of winning, let’s call that dragon or whatever it is

Wrin: *foreheadsmack* Yeah. The Dragonball-Z fans are gonna LOVE that line.

we have to do and get out of here.”

Wrin: Win the game?

Both advanced toward the dragonballs - and suddenly stopped.

Wrin: Because you can't have enough 'suddenly's in any action-filled fanfic. *rolls eyes*

They stared at each other.
“Did you feel that?”
“Yeah.” Bob had grown very serious. “Someone’s here. Someone powerful.”
“Well, let’s get this over with before they

Wrin: Find out we're raiding their liquor stash.

find us.” AndrAIa started back toward the dragonballs.

Wrin: Bad idea.

Just then a huge ball of

Wrin: Dragons.

light raced to the earth and struck

Wrin: Bob in the forehead.

the ground in front of her with tremendous force.

Wrin: As powerful heavenly bodies tend to not be wussies.

When the dust cleared,

Wrin: Dust? Cleared? Kay. It's Smoke Cleared or Dust Settled. Someone couldn't decide on their descriptive terms. That and not paying attention to the fact that in a lush jungle, there inna gonna be dat much dust.

the two Sprites were face-to-face with the enemy:

Wrin: Again, I say POWER TO THE SEMICOLONS!

a small, muscular man with a shock of black hair

Wrin: On his head, I hope.

and power so great

Wrin: He powered Undernet with his hamster-wheel.

they could feel it radiating from him.

Wrin: Like that all-too familiar gamma radiation that made Bob's hair grow so funny.

“The User,” said Bob.

Wrin: Stating the obvious.

The User stared them down silently for a few moments.

Wrin: Cue KMFDM - Ultra.. this fight scene needs all the help it can get. Ultra could make teletubbies pillowfighting seem cool.

Then he

Wrin: Forced the author to stop starting her sentences with prepositions.

clenched his fists, opened his eyes wide, and

Wrin: Sliced his hand open on Bob's hair.

let out a yell that echoed off the surrounding hills.

Wrin: Because hills aren't padded at all. They don't refract sound. They reflect. Reflect reflect. 9.9

Bob and AndrAIa just stared in

Wrin: White-faced stupor.

fear. “What’s he doing?” AndrAIa whispered.

Wrin: <Bob> (whispering) I think he's about to kick our asses.

Bob swallowed

Wrin: His tongue.

hard. “He’s getting stronger. I can

Wrin: <Bob> State the obvious quite well.

feel it. AndrAIa, I don’t know if we can fight this guy.”

Wrin: <Bob> Fighting is completely out of the question. I mean, Fight and Die: Be nullified. Not Fight: Still be nullified. *Look*At*Those*Odds*!

AndrAIa looked back at the User.

Wrin: Who was biding his time, twiddling his thumbs, using a tree as a toothpick.

“That’s what he’s doing? Powering up? This isn’t some sort of an attack?”

Wrin: *rolls her eyes* *twirls her right index finger in the air in a clockwise motion* Kame.. Hame.. Ha.

Bob shook his head. AndrAIa smiled - the smile of someone who has an idea.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Too bad it's not me!

She handed her dragonball to Bob. “Wait here. I’ll handle this.”
“AndrAIa, wait!”

Wrin: <Bob> I... I ... I love you.

Bob reached out a hand to stop her

Wrin: from winning the game and ruining his chances with the phong-actalike at the beginning of this fic.

but she was already heading for the User. She took a few steps, then stopped.

Wrin: <User> Walk to daddy honey! Walk to daddy!

The User’s power was

Wrin: fading quickly, aft generator had blown a gasket.

rising so quickly that small stones

Wrin: Sprites, stones, buildings, trees, .. small things.

were being lifted off the ground. AndrAIa ignored them;

Wrin: They weren't being very loud, anyway.

she took a deep breath, shifted her wait to her back foot,

Wrin: not to be confused with her weight,

and suddenly

Wrin: There's that word again.

took off at a full sprint - directly at the User.

Wrin: That's it, Andy, use your head.

Just as she reached him, she brought her knee back, then thrust it forward with all the force she could muster. CRACK!! - her knee connected. Right between the User’s legs.

Wrin: (Yelling and throwing popcorn at the screen) CHEAP SHOT! CHEAAAP SHOOOTT! Author with no imagination!!!

The User made a choking noise and instantly dropped to his knees; then he fell over on his side.

Wrin: Can we tell the fic writer's female?

AndrAIa turned back to an open-mouthed Bob,

Wrin: <Bob> She just hurt his buddy!

who was observing this scene with understandable shock: “Come on.”

Wrin: I repeat, SEMI-COLON.

Bob found his voice. “AndrAIa,” he said, still not fully believing what he had seen, “you just racked the User!”
“Yeah. So?”

Wrin: <Bob> He may never have fun again!!

Bob shook his head and headed her direction. “I’ll never look at you the same way again.”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> *hugging Bob as they win the game*
Wrin: <Bob> Please don't touch me.

The Sprites added their two dragonballs to the quintet in the cave.

Wrin: Quintet!? She can't spell 'weight' and has the nerve to use 'quintet'?!

AndrAIa tapped a finger against her lips thoughtfully. “So how do you suppose we summon this Great Dragon?”

Wrin: Who said anything about a Great Dragon? *scrolls up* Oh.

Bob shrugged. “How about, ‘Arise, Great Dragon’?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> What does this little printing on the hockey puck say.. "Open.. Sesame."

As soon as he said this, the sky darkened until it was jet black.

Wrin: <Bob> *I*, Am *THE*MAN*.
Wrin: <AndrAIa> *snorts* lucky guess.

The wind, a gentle breeze before, picked up to almost gale force. A sudden,

Wrin: There's that word again.

brilliant flash of light

Wrin: We seem to have discovered a theme.

forced the pair to cover their eyes momentarily;

Wrin: ... kay. We've finally learned proper use of the semicolon. And it only took *counts* 13 pages of fic to do it. *rolls eyes*

the Great Dragon had arisen

Wrin: Not to be confused with having risen.

from the dragonballs and was now hovering over them. AndrAIa looked at Bob. “That’ll work.”

Wrin: New episode on ReBoot: Andy States The Obvious.

The dragon began to speak - startling our heroes

Wrin: *foreheadsmack*

considerably, though not as much as one might think.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Gah! That kindasorta only halfway startled me enough to call it startled!

After everything they had seen, they wouldn’t have been entirely surprised to see him break into song.

Wrin: (Yelling, Again) Cos I mean it's not like the perils of the web had been ANYTHING near this incredible display of BRAVADO and BRAINPOWER whilst walking around in dusty jungles, and kicking Goku in the nuts!!

The dragon said, “You have summoned me; I will grant any wish to you that is within my power.”

Wrin: <Bob> Thirty lesbians, covered in chocolate syrup, in my apartment swimming pool.
Wrin: <AndrAIa> Looks like *my* weekend's booked.

The two Sprites’ jaws nearly hit the ground.

Wrin: <Bob> *catches his dentures* Damn. That was close.

“He grants wishes?!” said Bob in disbelief.

Wrin: <Bob> If I'da known *that* I woulda won the game MUCH sooner!

“That’s what this was all about?!”
Next to him, AndrAIa threw up here hands defeatedly.

Wrin: Not to be confused with 'in defeat.'

“Oh, what is with this game?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Dragonballs.. dragons.. talking magic dragons.. THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

“Well...what should I wish for?”

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Whatever it is, keep peanut butter and Frisket out of it.

“Hey, you’re the Guardian; that’s your call.

Wrin: *foreheadsmack* And I mean, Andy was *always* that doe-eyed and naive.

Bearing in mind,” she continued, seeing a now-familiar dreamy-eyed look come over her friend’s face,

Wrin: <AndrAIa> That I am *not* Dot, and this is most certainly *NOT* Guardian Lust.

“that this is only a game, so whatever you wish for won’t hold once the game ends.”
Bob looked disappointed.

Wrin: <Bob> *unhappy sigh* Too bad Dot wasn't here...

“Oh, yeah. I guess you’re right.”

Wrin: I guess being the omnipotent guardian kinna gets to his head. Y'know. And a lack of thinking results from it. Or something.

He sighed. “Ok - how about this? Great Dragon, I wish for us to win this game and go home.”

Wrin: *Throws more popcorn at the screen* CHEAPIE!

“GAME OVER.” The game cube lifted, and Bob and AndrAIa were left standing in the middle of street, smiling at each other.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Can I stop smiling yet?
Wrin: <Bob> Wait until my close-up ends. It makes me look popular with the chicks.

AndrAIa nodded at him. “That’ll work.”

Wrin: there's that statement of the obvious again!

*********
Wrin: Yay! Indications of closing of ficness! Cue "Everyone laughs, lives happily ever after" scene! Take one!

“You racked the User?!”

Wrin: Tolje she was butch.

AndrAIa sighed. She had been trying to

Wrin: point out that it couldn't possibly hurt *That* much! </sarcasm>

defend her actions to Bob all the way back from the game;

Wrin: <Bob> You *do* realize that that guy may never self-yiff ever again, right? *worried look*
Wrin: <AndrAIa> *sighs in exasperation*

she wasn’t in the mood to do the same with Matrix. At least, she said to herself, he’s feeling better. “What was I supposed to do? Just stand there and let him reach full power?”

Wrin: <Matrix> D'uh.. yeah...?

“But did you have to hit him...there?” Matrix looked pained just imagining it.

Wrin: <Matrix> (muttering) and people wonder why I wear a cup.

“And that hard?” Bob had decided to add his

Wrin: indication of worry for Goku's crown jewels.

two cents.
“He was between us and the dragonballs, and he was

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Muscular and healthy.. they'll grow back, right?
Wrin: <Matrix and Bob> *groans*

more powerful than we would have been able to handle. I had to take him out, and I had to do it fast.

Wrin: Yeah, Andy.You the man.

And what faster way than to...” AndrAIa trailed off as a degree of modesty prevented her from finishing her thought.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> (thinking) I can't say 'racked' in front of the boys! They'll laugh at me!

“Well, you know.” She took a sip of her energy shake.

Wrin: Tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder..

The two men shook their heads. Then Bob asked,

Wrin: <Bob> Why are there so many grammatical errors in this fic?
Wrin: <Matrix> *shrugs*

“By the way, what did you say to that old Game Sprite?

Wrin: <Bob> Did he like me after all or what?!

And don’t try to duck the question this time.”
AndrAIa blushed slightly.

Wrin: Cute! *gagging gestures*

“I just

Wrin: <AndrAIa> Told him your entire life story! I mean, we do that all the time, and I didn't think you could be mad. Right? Riiight?

said that you should only be a young Sprite, but you had been caught in the games and compiled up faster than normal, and that’s why you were being so immature,” she said, her voice getting softer and softer as she spoke.

Wrin: *sighs* Give me a break, Meghan-chan, this is not AndrAIa.

Bob just stared at her, unsure whether to be amused or angry.

Wrin: <Bob> Ambevolence! Aaaahahahahaha! Aaaahahaha! Aaaahahaha--*punches AndrAIa*

A noise behind him made them all turn.

Wrin: Even those already facing in that direction. And turning in spot, now, none of this 180 shit.

Dot had entered the diner from the back room

Wrin: Considering that she operates the diner, this should not be a problem.

and was trying her level best

Wrin: *reads that as "Trying her level bust"*

not to burst

Wrin: into tears at the pointlessness of this scene

out laughing. Seeing herself caught

Wrin: trying to climb the barbed-wire fence to rescue Matrix from the S.P.C.A. (Random thought)

she gave up and collapsed into

Wrin: The diner wall.

giggles. Bob glared at her. “Thanks a lot.”

Wrin: <Bob> *To little buddy* It's alright. She'd never do that to you.. *looks at AndrAIa* riight?

“I’m sorry, it’s funny,”

Wrin: I'm sorry too, AndrAIa, because this scene is like many a bad storyline I added in third grade to get an extra page at the end of my story so the teacher would accept it.

she said between laughs.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> (giggling) (goes totally serious) I'm sorry. (giggles hysterically again) (goes totally serious) It's funny. (ROTFLs some more)

By now Matrix was laughing too, as

Wrin: he had no knowledge of why AndrAIa wore steel-toed boots.
Wrin: <Matrix> Hey, how about a quickie before dinner?
Wrin: <AndrAIa> *CRACK!*

were all other diner patrons who had been listening (which naturally meant everyone in the diner).

Wrin: Cos I mean, eavesdroppers are cool, right?
Wrin: <Toque> (to Matrix) She did *WHAT* on the first date?!

AndrAIa, beaming to see so many people

Wrin: Staring at her cleavage.

on her side, raised an

Wrin: Oyvey.

eyebrow at Bob and said, “I told you I’d get you back.”

Wrin: ... That was getting him back? Remind me to show Andy, Chochish Princess the art of revenge. Living with Matrix has tarnished her definition of 'fun.'

With this, Bob quit pretending to be angry

Wrin: (Throwing more popcorn at the screen) FLIRT ALERT!

and laughed. He cast

Wrin: Ice3 on Andy to shut her up.

a wondering look at Matrix. “How do you stand it?”

Wrin: <Matrix> Yah, yer right, the spikes are a bit of a nuisance. But can they ever be fun in the sack!

“I guess it’s just part of her charm.”
“But what if that Game Sprite tells other people who enter the game what you said?”

Wrin: Big deal!
Wrin: <Game Sprite> Did you know Bob had a rough Childhood?
Wrin: <Player> .. Bummer.

“I doubt that will happen.

Wrin: More famous last words.

He was just being polite. He probably had no idea what I was talking about.

Wrin: <AndrAIa> *nervously* ... I mean, how many people who want to kill you could he know?

All I was trying to do,” she said, leaning across the table, “was make you sweat a little.”

Wrin: <Matrix> Don't even *THINK* it, Bob.
Wrin: <Bob> Damn.

Bob smiled and shook his head. “Mission accomplished.” He raised his energy shake. “To

Wrin: The ending of this fic! *clink*

our first game together. You are -” he paused searching for the right words,

Wrin: [Who so doesn't see this comment coming..] Butch?

“a force to be reckoned with; one the User will not want to tangle with in the future.” He smirked at her. “Not without...protection, anyway.”

Wrin: When one tangles in the bedsheets, that is typically what one wears.

AndrAIa laughed and raised her cup. “I will drink to that.”

---
Kay. Misting over. Done. Kaput. Finished. My badness is over. You may go home. Not terribly funny, I know. I'll post it eventually. As far as it goes, [email protected]. Comments, suggestions, and Oh Do I Love Hate Mail.